Miscellaneous

SAN FRANCISCO - We spoke to Jay Fullmer, 38, who became the first
American to get to grips with the concept of irony yesterday.

"It was weird," Fullmer said, "I was in London and, like, talking to
this guy and it was raining and shit and he said, like, great weather,
or something like that."

Said Fullmer: "And I thought - wait a minute, it's like, no way is it
great weather."

Fullmer soon realised that the other man's 'mistake' was deliberate.

"This guy was pretty cool about it," Fullmer said.

Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8
and 3, planned to use irony himself in future.

"I'm like saying it all the time." he said. "Weekend last I was like
grilling steaks and I like burned them to shit and I said 'great
weather'."

I've been contacted by the Corrigan Brothers, who inform me that David Cameron is Irish:

On December 5th 2005 Debrett’s Peerage released the research that confirmed that current Conservative leader David Cameron is William IV’s great, great, great, great, great grandson. He is related to the 19th-century monarch through Elizabeth FitzClarence, the King’s illegitimate daughter, one of at least ten children he had out of wedlock with Dorothy Jordan, an Irish actress from County Waterford, his long-term mistress, who is in fact Mr Cameron's IV’s great, great, great, great, great grandmonther. The family tree by Debrett’s Peerage, the genealogists, shows that the link between Mr Cameron, 39, and William IV makes him the fifth cousin twice-removed of the Queen.

So Dave Cameron is Irish.

Toque has learned that Edinburgh Castle, which looks down over Scotland's capital city, is being flogged off by the Government in a desperate bid to raise some cash after the failure of Scotland's banks.

The leading bidder is the Wal-Mart, which also owns Asda.

Industry sources say Edinburgh Castle could fetch up to £500 million with retail rights.

UPDATE

My mistake, it's the Port of Dover in England that Gordon Brown is thinking of selling - to the French - along with the Student Loans Book (English), the Dartford Crossing (English), English Hospitals, English libraries, channel rail link, cemeteries, public housing estates, school playing fields and Urenco, headquartered in England.

Silly of me to believe that Brown would sell off anything Scottish. Must check my sources in future.

See CEP: Brown's £16bn fire sale of England's assets

My favourite programme on TV at the moment (apart from last night's one that saw Man U get beaten by Man City) is Lost Kingdoms of Africa hosted by the grandly named Dr Gus Casely-Hayford - former Executive Director of Arts Strategy for Arts Council England - in the manner of an effete, and terribly English, Indiana Jones.

The recent programme on Ethiopa was particularly fascinating, and what amazed me as much as the beauty of their churches was the fact that every single church seemed to have an extremely prominent depiction of St George.

I knew that St George has his followers in Russia, Catalonia, Georgia and Portugal but I had no idea that there was a cult of St George in Ethiopia.

When I visited Egypt I remember being fascinated by the depictions of the jet-black Nubians on Egyptian art, almost always shown as aggressive hordes or prostrate slaves. The programme on the Lost Kingdom of Nubia revealed that, actually, Nubia was a civillisation comparable to that of ancient Egypt. In hindsight it seems probable that I have been subjected to some particularly effective Egyptian state propaganda.

My sincere apologies to Mr Mugabe, but I have to say that the programme on Great Zimbabwe was the least interesting of the three so far. Surprising though that he let a BBC film crew in.

Next week it's the turn of the Kingdom of Benin, which I'm sure will bring back memories of Ghana.

The following links are intended as a resource only.

You Really Should Join

• The Campaign for an English Parliament

For the Love of England

• Campaign to Protect Rural England
• Cross of St George
• The Royal Society of St George
• We Are the English
• Fair Flags Campaign
• England Pages
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For St George

• St. George Unofficial Bank Holiday
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• St George's Day.com
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For Shakespeare

• Shakespeare Day

Looking into England

• What England Means to Me
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English National Anthem

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Parliamentary Debates

• Referendum (English Parliament) Bill, House of Commons debates, 16 January 1998
• Devolution: England, House of Lords debates, 21 March 2001, 3:06 pm
• Review of Role of Scottish Members of House of Commons [Scotland Bill], House of Commons debates, 6 May 1998, 4:05 pm
• Parliament (Participation of Members of the House of Commons) Bill [HL], House of Lords debates, 17 January 2006, 3:06 pm
• Scottish MPs (Voting Rights), Westminster Hall debates, 6 January 2004
• Constitutional Reform (England), House of Commons debates, 9 June 1999
• St. George's Day (Public Holiday), House of Commons debates, 27 October 2004
• Devolution, House of Commons debates, 21 July 2004
• Regional Assemblies (Preparations) Bill, House of Commons debates, 26 November 2002
• Regional Assemblies, House of Commons debates, 16 June 2003
• Regional Referendums, House of Commons debates, 8 November 2004
• House of Commons (Participation) Bill [Orders of the Day], House of Commons debates, 9 March 2007
• British Day, Westminster Hall debates, 12 November 2008

Armchair Activists

• List of United Kingdom Parliament constituencies
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Constitutional Reform

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Government Sites

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England Merchandise

• England Store
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Who ever would have guessed that the fine specimen of a man that is John Prescott was the product of inbreeding?

If like me you will never forgive the class-obsessed, anti-English, pie-gobbling shit for this, and if you fancy a healthy dose of schadenfreude, then you can enjoy Prescott's anguish on iPlayer.

Here's a colour film of London in 1927.

It looks so nice. Obviously some of the architecture is different but the real difference is the lack of barriers, road markings and signs. It looks much freer. Nowadays we have barriers to prevent us crossing the road (and getting back onto the pavement), stripes to tell us where to cross, further markings on the road to tell us which way to look, traffic lights, pedestrian lights, road signs, bollards, central reservations, garish hoardings and CCTV surrounded by spikes. We've gained so much and yet lost so much more.

Londoners may not realise it but we bumpkins who visit from more rural locations experience a sensation of being herded down pavements and corralled into groups. Sometimes London feels like an overwhelming and claustrophobic assault on the senses.

I was in Whitehall last week and the Cenotaph was surrounded by traffic cones, police ribbon and metal railings. Frankly it looked a fucking disgrace.

It's been about five years since I last saw Dreadzone, but I saw them again last night at Komedia in Brighton. So glad I did because they're still an utterley superb live act.

Fight the Power was a festival classic back in the day.